It's not you, it's me

One of the scariest things I've ever done was plug some of my favorite beauty items into the skin deep site. It was downright terrifying to see how many chemicals I put into my body on a daily basis. Granted, some things (mascara!) are pretty much impossible to find chemical-free, but I have been trying to come up with some eco-friendly substitutions for my beauty regimen. There are lots of great moisturizers, makeup companies and cleansing products that are at least attempting to use more natural than synthetic ingredients. But, I have to draw the line somewhere. And that somewhere is my armpits.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been using an aluminum-free, crunchy, green (it's literally green) deodorant. Not an antiperspirant, mind you, because the aluminum is what prevents you from sweating like a pig. Aluminum is said to possibly cause cancer, Alzheimer's, and other assorted party fouls. Although there hasn't been any real scientific proof of a causal link, I'd rather hedge my bets, especially now that I've got a youngin' depending on me to bring the sand toys to the playground. I've never been a huge sweater, so I doubted that it would be that different for me sans antiperspirant. I decided to ditch my dirty Secret and go organic, y'all.

I didn't really notice anything the first day or so. But, about three days in, I was at a restaurant and I could have sworn that the guy standing next to me had just walked off a basketball court. There was a vile stench all around. A few days later I smelled it again and wondered when the hell people in San Francisco stopped showering. Dirty hippies! Finally, this morning I was changing the big/little guy's diaper when I caught an awful whif. It wasn't poop, it was ME! I had a full on identity crisis. I smell? Like a homeless person in Miami? When did this happen? Have I been smelling for weeks? Am I a hippie now? I am mentally cataloging all the people I've hugged recently and may have utterly repulsed. Damn hormones. Foiled again!

So. I'm starting to think maybe smelling like an onion factory is worse than all the potential, unproven harms of good old, working deodorant. Then again, since I can be a little obsessive (just a tad) once I set my mind to something, I'm going to work my way through this list to try to find a deodorant that doesn't leave me friendless. Any ideas are appreciated, especially by my clothing.