Different strokes

Colds really suck. Consider yourself enlightened. I have been fortunate enough to not experience this whole mouth breathing phenomenon for the past year. Between breastfeeding and not living in winter, both my babe and I seemed to have titanium immune systems. Until now. I cannot stop coughing. My throat is raw and scratchy, which makes me want to cough more. Kind of a chicken vs. egg situation I've got going on.

My poor husband has to listen to me hacking away. I feel worse for him than I do for me. Hearing someone cough is probably my biggest pet peeve. When I commuted by train, I would always jump up and run into the nearest car if someone next to me was coughing. Not because of the germs (though I don't much care for them), but because of the sound. It irks the hell out of me. I am always afraid the person is going to launch into a fit and start choking.

But, hearing my son cry is by far the worst sound ever. Thankfully, his coughing has so far been minimal and my world has not exploded. Strangely, this plague seems to be affecting us differently:

My version: Want to sleep in all day and watch soap operas.
His version: Want to get up at least thirty minutes earlier than normal, nap thirty minutes less and go to sleep thirty minutes later.

My version: Employing every tissue and roll of toilet paper in the house to blow my nose.
His version: Employing all the tissues and toilet paper in the house as toilet bowl party guests.

My version: Generally disinterested in all things that are not really hot or really cold foods for the past two days.
His version: Generally disinterested in all things food for past two days.

My version: Whining constantly to anyone who will listen about how much I hate being sick.
His version: Whining much less constantly than normal.

My version: Would almost be willing for someone to suck out my snot using a nose frida.
His version: Would not, under any circumstances, be willing for someone to suck out his snot using a nose frida.

We do, however, both really enjoy examining our snot. He's mine afterall.

I think we're almost out of the woods, people. Catch you on the flip side.

Going viral

There is a plague upon my house. We just got through our first major illness as a family. Mr. Monk, Tony and I were all in it together. Mr. Schneed was in Vegas, partying with porn stars and craps tables. Or at a conference, whatever. The porn conference happened to be the same weekend too, how sad for him. I spent much of yesterday covered in puke, human and canine. I didn't know what mess to clean up first. I don't think the two youngins being sick at the same time was actually related, but what a fun coinkidink, eh?*

Watching my poor, defenseless and utterly confused son wretch his little guts out was painful. Multiple sheets, a stroller, about a million articles of clothing and an air purifier (oh, the irony) were caught in the virus' wake. Hooray again for not having a functioning washer/dryer. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do for him but try to keep him hydrated. Just a little tip from my sister to me to you--try freezing pedialyte in little cubes. My guy was much more willing to take a mini pedialyte pop than drink it straight up. He hung on to my neck with his little monkey arms and didn't want to be put down for hours on end. Is it awful to say that I kind of enjoyed the snuggle time? My child is usually running in 30 different directions and can't be bothered to stop for a cuddle with his baking vessel. It was sort of lovely to lie on the couch with him in dead silence as he looked at me, looked at the dog, moaned. End scene.

Thankfully, the sickness for both pup and lasted far less than the doctor's predicted 3-4 days (wtf? I would have lost my mind). By yesterday evening he seemed mostly fine and this morning he is back to his full throttle self. Watch out, world.

Unfortunately, I am now puking my own big girl guts out just in time for the Mister's arrival. Welcome back!

*Given that I've just joined in on the hijinks hours after I first wrote the post, I'm starting to rethink this...